Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
