Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Alive.
So much puke
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
