Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
