I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
