I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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