I just cut my nipple shaving
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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