ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
