he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
