hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
