I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
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