Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
