(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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