arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
