I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
