I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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