Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
