we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize