I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize