Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
