he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
