Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
