How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
