Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize