I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
