omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
