The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Randomize
