Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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