ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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