Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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