There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Two words: nipple clamps
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