Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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