I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
