Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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