dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
