Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
