it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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