So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
