I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
