Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
