Is it normal to miss your booty call?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
