Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
