i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
