But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
