And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So vagazzling was a success
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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