their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
