So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
