this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
