just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
