No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
