Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(662): View more from Mississippi

We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.

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(505): View more from New Mexico

With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum

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(812): View more from Indiana

Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.

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(404): View more from Georgia

just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.

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(714): View more from California

I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..

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(541): View more from Oregon

Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.

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(516): View more from New York

Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."

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