Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
