I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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