shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
But break dance skills will only take you so far
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
