Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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