I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
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