I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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