We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
