Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
