Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
