Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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